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Joke of the Day

"The girl I met last week said she wanted a guy who was ""funny and spontaneous"" I showed up at her kitchen window late at night wearing a clown suit and suddenly it's all panic and screaming..."

"If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it might be a grebe. Know your waterfowl."

"What do you call the blood that comes out when teenagers cut themselves? Emoglobin."

"If ebola had a font it would be www.dafont.com/ebola-font.font"

"Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team? Because all the ones that can run, jump and swim are already in America."

"Whats blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem."

"Saw a cute girl at work today. I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left."

"Nobody ever believes me when I say I have to go to the bathroom. They always say that I'm full of crap"

"*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*"