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Joke of the Day

"[Showing a friend around the house] Me: And THIS is where my 5 yr old eats his popcorn. *motions to area covered in popcorn."

Next Joke
 
"Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July r/jokes!"
"Just saw a cyclist put his hand out to indicate he was turning left when a lone pedestrian high fived him. I feel so good right now."
"Jim Lehrer is moderating this debate with the skill of an NFL replacement referee."
"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""fear not,"" he says and points at Jesus. ""for he has resin."""
"What do you call a vegan wizard? A soyceror."
"Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work"
"One of the great pleasures of living in a city is walking by a pile of bloody clothes and thinking, ""Someone else will take care of this."""
"What's the difference between a contradiction and a punchline? There's no punchline for this joke."
"When she found out he worked in technical support, it really turned her on. Then it turned her off. Then it turned her on again."
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