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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that New York has two capitals? N and Y."

"The scariest thing about the terrorists is how fast they can do the monkey bars in their training camp videos."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!"

"Why did the nazi work in the animal hospital after the war? He was a veteran Aryan."

"Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to."

"Cw: you have a call holding M: put it in my voicemail Cw: he has a sexy Australian accent M: hiiii this is Jennifer"

"What did the IT guy say when he threw RAM sticks at the stripper? ""RAMs a make a dance!"""

"How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!"

"I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid"

"Why did the mission control operator tell the astronauts not to eat any food? She saw some off-nom telemetry."