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Joke of the Day

"Why is a viola solo like a bomb? By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it. A long list of viola jokes: http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html"

"Why did the ""Ringling Bros."" Circus finally go out of business? They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer."

"#rudolph > .nose { background: red; border-radius: 50%; @include shiny; }"

"I've never dumped a girl. I always lay them peacefully in a field to be discovered by school children"

"If a man says he is going to fix something he will. There is no need for a women to ask every 6 months about it"

"What is a chronic masturbator's favorite dish? Meat stroganoff"

"Someone was told me that they were an actor. I told them I wanted coconut milk in my chai latte."

"What do you get when you squish a synagogue? Jews"

"Funny Comeback Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father! son: ..... son: sure, whatever dad. FIVE HOURS LATER Dad: so how was your exam? Son: who the hell are you?"

"Whether you believe in evolution or not, one thing is certain... Human ancestry's pretty fishy."