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Joke of the Day

"If a man says he is going to fix something he will. There is no need for a women to ask every 6 months about it"

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"If I walk you home and kiss you goodnight, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this calling the cops crap."
"Did you know that Helen Kellet was born near Troy, Alabama? I guess that's why they called her ... yhe little deaf girl who couldn't see neither"
"I rode a horse today. In other words, I had sex with Sara Jessica Parker"
"Well done Turkey on shooting down a Russian warplane. Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force."
"How many Mexicans does it take to build a... Oh, wait, they're done."
"User interface? I hardly even know her."
"How do you make Ben Carson yell? Watch a movie with him."
"Troll your friends by texting them a fake blinking ellipsis (""..."") http://imgur.com/3RM8yC2"
"What do you call somebody after you give them a noogie? A knucklehead."