170334

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a king's fart? Noble gas"

"Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads..."

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Of course you did. I saw him the other day at the mall making balloon animals. He says hi."

"Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken wasn't invented yet."

"What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza A pizza can feed a family of four"

"Why couldn't Jango wear Boba's helmet? It didn't Fett."

"As a kid, I used to think $5,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money."

"Hey Seattle, Wanna win the Superbowl? No thanks, We'll pass!"

"Winters, when your handwriting turns out the same no matter which hand you use."

"At a restaurant: ""Would you like a table?"" ""No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."""