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Joke of the Day

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Of course you did. I saw him the other day at the mall making balloon animals. He says hi."

Next Joke
 
"I'd like to tell you I can keep you safe Son but lets be realistic here, we're dealing with a closet that has a God damn monster in it."
"What do rednecks do on Halloween? Pumpkin"
"having sex w/ a girl who has multiple personalities would be awesome unless one of those personalities was hitler"
"Militant feminists: I take my hat off to them. They don't like that."
"My negotiating strategy is to make a skeptical face for one second then pay what the other person asked."
"Just hugged a sycamore tree before kissing an oak tree. I'm having a treesome lol"
"Yes, I'm aware I can't fly, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try if my chute doesn't open."
"If I had to guess at the religion of Daniel Day Lewis... I would probably have to say Methodist   [What are the rules of Daniel Day Lewis?!](http://imgur.com/gallery/NDOov4L)"
"I'm not a beach, but shore. Cheesy and overused, but always makes me laugh."
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