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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job? A Defective!"
Next Joke
"Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep."
"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."
"The Bank of America app randomly disappeared off my phone and now I'm wondering how much money I spent last night."
"Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking intense."
"Been chatting with this 14 year old girl. Real sexy and flirty. Things are going great, but now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How fucking cool is that for someone her age."
"Be the reason they create new laws."
"Aw, I would love to keep up with the Kardashians. But being a 'pregnant-solar-powered-douche-magnet' is an art form I haven't yet perfected."
"I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning."
"Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? They prefer cricket matches!"