170125

Joke of the Day

"People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia? Because he was a dirty double crosser."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche sitting in my garage"

"What's the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled 'The World's Top Accountants - Nude!'."

"I bought a boomerang from a ghost yesterday.. I know it's going to come back to haunt me!"

"What's a bee-line ? The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !"

"Hobbies include: 1. Crying about the past 2. Procrastinating in the present 3. Worrying about the future"

"Don't you hate it when you think you're about to fart and you shit on your Dad's face?"

"When black guys say ""ya feel me?"", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at."

"I asked my Dad, ""Dad, what did you want to do when you were my age?"" ""Your mom's sister."""