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Joke of the Day

"Hobbies include: 1. Crying about the past 2. Procrastinating in the present 3. Worrying about the future"

"If you're looking for the best time to spill things on yourself, might I suggest wearing a white shirt and right before an interview."

"Why don't snakes have balls? ... because they would look like dicks."

"How to give a good hand job... Step 1: Use your mouth."

"Why do you call the US government when a blizzard of secret information gets released? They're snowed-en!"

"Why does moon rock taste better than earth rock? It's a little meteor."

"How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder."

"Ladies: If he's right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys."

"why girls prefer iphones.... because they are use to its type of Aspect ratio :D"

"Broccoli is like anal sex. If you didn't like it forced on you as a child you probably won't like it as an adult."