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Joke of the Day

"My friends ask me if I got A haircut I say ""no, I got them ALL cut!"""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a flying fuck."

"Magician: ""Think of a number."" Me: ""Okay."" Magician: ""Are you thinking of a number?"" Me: ""Yes."" *the crowd goes wild with applause*"

"What's so great about having sex while camping? Its fucking in tents!"

"What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head? ""I have only my shelf to blame"""

"I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles lastnight.. My next poop could spell, Disaster."

"Why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!"

"On a scale from 1 - overweight black woman, how confident are you?"

"Why was the composer late for work? He missed Debussy. I'll just leave."

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came in fifth and won a toaster."