170054

Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba divers flip backwards when going into the water? Because if they flipped forwards they'd still be in the boat"

"ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep."

"If I ever describe anything you tell me as ""crazy,"" it's really not, I just want out of your conversation prison."

"Lazy assholes.. They just don't give a shit."

"My mate Dave's just got back from his third tour of Afghanistan. Hardest bloody bus driver I know."

"If I was the editor of Vogue, I'd just put an actual skeleton on the cover with the headline, ""Feel bad yet? You should, Fatty."""

"Did you hear about the man who proposed to his long-distance girlfriend? It was a ranged marriage."

"Why did the dolphin commit suicide? Because his life had no porpoise"

"I don't always roll a joint but when I do, It's my ankle"

"Who the hell invented Bull Riding? ""Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"""