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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that Rene Descartes accidentally committed suicide? He just wasn't thinking."

"I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked Wonderful or was it just the 20th outfit she'd tried & he just wanted to get to the party"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7?? Because 7 had Ebola."

"[Serious] what are the serious impacts of drinking water just after you had had a wet dream?"

"[god creating ants] Anteater: finally"

"Bechdel test Two women walk into a bar, one says ""you heard of the Bechdel test?"", the other: ""yeah my boyfriend told me about it the other day..."""

"Hit snooze until the panic sets in."

"The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so that doctors can look at the inside of their patients' bodies. So to answer your question: Yes, selfies CAN get worse."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day"

"Sup, ducks? Lookin' straight nuclear with your orange ass bills & your furry yellow torsos. All aquatic & shit. Lazy as hell, too. One love."