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Joke of the Day

"What did God say to Jesus? This lawn ain't gonna mow itself."

"Why wasn't Hamlet sad when his girlfriend drowned? He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway."

"When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there's a sail on it."

"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"

"Why do girls never propose Because as soon as she gets on her knees, she starts unzipping him"

"A rather bold robber... Broke into the local police department and stole all of their toilets. Cops report that they have nothing to go on."

"Dad did you manage to fix my toy? No it's not broken the battery's flat. Well what shape should it be?"

"Lady Astronaut: *eats all the chocolate* Guy Astronaut: You know we're on the space shuttle for- LA: SHUTTLE YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE ME SPACE"

"What was Hitler's favorite TV show? The Price is Reich"

"What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls."