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Joke of the Day

"I can't pet a cat without plotting world domination."

Next Joke
 
"Boyfriend asked me to put a few planks of wood together... Nailed it!"
"I'm so tired I could eat a horse."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"
"I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years."
"What's the difference between a baby and a feminist? I don't want to punch the baby in the fucking face."
"Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues"
"Who does Hitler call when his dog is sick? A Veteran Aryan"
"Your mother is so classless... .. she could be a marxist utopia"
"Why can't T-Rexes clap? Because they're extinct."