169743

Joke of the Day

"My wife hasn't spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding... He's not happy about it either..."

"I'm obsessed with power buttons They just turn me on."

"You know you have a weight problem when even your car insults you. It flashes the word ABS at me and won't stop."

"My wife said that my pen!s closely resembles a Tic Tac. She was proud of her remark until I asked her why her sister still has bad breath then."

"A network engineer goes to the doctor...... He told the doctor, ""It hurts when IP"""

"What is a Canadian vampire's favourite drink? Type Eh."

"""I don't see race."" -Russian guy in the back row of a NASCAR event"

"a white man and a black man enter a jewelry store black man gets shot"

"Q: When is Santa's birthday? A: Since Santa comes once a year and he's married, Santa's birthday is December 25th"

"*grammar police reads ransom note* ""Bring the money hear in too days, or she dead"" *grammar cop dies* ""Damn, he had 2 days until retirement"""