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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend says I have compulsive lying disorder... ...she's right; I don't have a girlfriend."

"What do you call a prostitutes first day on the job? A Grand Opening"

"Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child? Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number."

"You may be cool.. ...but you'll never be -274 C cool."

"Not now, inspirational quotes on my cough drop wrapper."

"I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some.."

"I just ran over a dog. At first I felt bad, but then I realized it was my Ex..."

"Did you guys see the lunar eclipse the other night? I missed it, the earth was in the way."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she was hit by a bus."

"King splits his kingdom to his three sons... Hell yeah, said the fourth..."