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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar So the bartender looks at him and says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" To which the grasshopper replies, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"So, the KGB walks into a bar... ...and they start, uh... they... I, uh... I don't know. I didn't see *anything*; I swear!"

"Beer nuts $1:50 Deer nuts under a buck"

"In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you're trying to explain directions to an old man."

"What does a subatomic duck say? Quark."

"My room + internet connection + music + food homework = perfect day."

"A man is put on trial for committing mass genocide against the people of Scotland. It looked like he would be in prison for life... ...but he got off Scot-free."

"LPT: If you need to remove your contact lenses after touching spicy peppers (Ghost, etc.) Leave the contacts in. I don't recommend going to the bathroom either."

"What is small, crying and cannot get under the table? A child with pitchfork in his back"

"I recently learned that anecdotal evidence is not scientifically valid A few friends told me how badly it went for them."