169470

Joke of the Day

"In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested."

"What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream."

"What time are most dental appointments scheduled for? Tooth hurty."

"He's 52, from now on let's just call him John Depp."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they.... lactose....."

"A blowfly goes into a bar and asks... Is that stool taken?"

"The Queen is so afraid of how the vote will turn out, she put Sam Smith in a boat circling Scotland singing ""Stay With Me"" into a megaphone."

"I don't like people call me fatty I like people call me to eat."

"I have ADHD. Yup, high-definition TV in the years after the birth of Jesus."

"[Calculus Joke] Why didn't the derivative of sec(x) go to the beach? Because secant tan"