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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a horny girl and a hungry girl? Where she puts the cucumber.."

"Fun prank: a chameleon exhibit with no chameleon."

"Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday? Because he had a wee cough"

"Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta? When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt."

"[gets found guilty of murder] [sentenced to 3 years of listening to Pitbull on repeat] [appeals] [gets sentence reduced to lethal injection]"

"Here's my gym schedule. Monday, cardio. Tuesday, weights. Wednesday, 7 mile bike ride. Thursday, 15 year break. Repeat."

"BARISTA: Would you like to try our new special Peruvian blend? It's sm- ME: I'm just trying to stay awake and not punch anyone."

"""Hey babe, you smell that?"" ""No."" ""Me neither, start cooking."""

"Twister 2: Climate change makes tornadoes evolve. They work together. We can't beat them. We team up instead The twisters destroy ISIS."

"What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in? A rehearsal"