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Joke of the Day

"The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds."

"When you give up and stop believing in yourself, it's much easier to worship and idolize another. That's how ass kissing and celebrity worshiping begins."

"The best reason to divorce or break-up with a man is for health reasons you're sick of him."

"What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common? They're both experts at placing temporary crowns."

"[Works when you say it]. The best part about having sex with 28 year olds is that there's 20 of them"

"My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer"

"Why does Mr. Pencil hate Mr. Pen so much? Because he is an erascist."

"Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges? As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange."

"Most black 15-year-olds are decent law-abiding citizens. It's their kids that cause all the trouble."

"I got my car crime-colored. It's black on black."