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Joke of the Day

"Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal."

"""THEN HE GOES BACK IN TIME AND THE DOGGIE IS SAD AND ICE CREAM."" --My 3 year-old, telling a more coherent story than LOST."

"Trying to think of a joke about jerking off... I'm sure it will come."

"Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd just sit a blow bubbles all afternoon? Well, Bubbles is back in town and wondering how you're doing these days..."

"Q: What goes clop, clop, clop - BANG! BANG! BANG! - clop, clop, clop? A: An Amish drive-by shooting."

"Teachers are sometimes like an alarm clock. They won't shut up when you're trying to sleep."

"So an openly gay guy patronized a store in Indiana ."

"I've been smuggling transvestites across the Mexican border. It's not easy being a drag mule."

"Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders? Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name ""Sanders""."

"I always buy a Get Well Soon card for the couple who invites me to their wedding."