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Joke of the Day

"Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? A: She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue."

"Why do honeydew melons have to get married in a formal ceremony? Because they cantaloupe."

"Want to hear a clean joke? Henry took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man."

"I stepped on an ant hill today and realized I had probably killed a lot of innocent ants. I also killed all the ant rapists so, I'm a hero."

"What did the owl say to the squirrel? Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey."

"What's the difference between a video game and a baby? I don't start masturbating when I've beaten a video game"

"My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring"

"My grandmother was just diagnosed with Parkinson's disease She looks pretty shaken up about it"

"Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated!"

"May the bards singeth this song henceforth on the 31st of August Oh my god its a happening My balls I am a grappling A tree grown from a sapling On the day that was the fappening"