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Joke of the Day

"My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring"

"What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans"

"A snowman and a snow-woman had a child... ...it had its mother's ice."

"Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think."

"What do you call a possessed chicken? Poultrygeist."

"Getting marriage advice from a priest is like taking your lawn mower to Burger King to get repaired."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber."

"Sodium and Hydrogen should be friends. NaH, sounds like a bad idea"

"Why do Scottish men have long skinny dicks? Because they're tight fisted wankers."

"I just found out a distant relative of mine has eaten three people. It's a lot to digest"