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Joke of the Day

"There are two Jehovah's Witnesses outside... They're applauding my house for some reason."

"I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped my phone."

"The couple in the room next door are having sex again. It's horrible. The chick's moaning sounds like a wounded walrus."

"Why should you wear leather when playing Hide and Seek? Because it's made of hide."

"Mom, why is the internet so slow Well, either your brother loads something down or your sister loads something up."

"Government shutdown day 7: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever."

"Why do Taiwanese students always do so well on their standardized tests? They've got a Taipei personality"

"How did Jared lose 40lbs? He dumped his girlfriend."

"I hate those p*nis enhancement emails. I got 10 today. What really hurt my feelings was 8 of them were from my girlfriend."

"A wife tells her husband who works with computers that shes pregnant She later sees him on his computer clicking ctrl z"