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Joke of the Day

"A student walks into class late... Teacher: ""Why are you late?"" Student: ""While I was coming, I saw a sign that said **School ahead. Slow down.**"""

"Have you heard about that new therapy they're using in Japan? Soy lattes up the rectum. It's supposed to have amazing health benefits. Enemame."

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb? They can't, they're not bright enough."

"In Australia your best friend and your worst enemy are both called a.. Cunt"

"What do you call the system of honour of French horses? Chevalry"

"Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure"

"Why does Donald Trump love all colors? He heard all colors add up to white."

"My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long"

"Damn girl, are you today's date? Because you are 10/10"

"Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows"