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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a racist because racism is a crime And crime is for black people"

"A woman is on trial... ...for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks, ""First offender?"" The lady replies, ""No your honor. First a Gibson then a Fender."" Edit: Grammar."

"I was really upset today but then a friend said ""don't be upset"" so now I'm not upset anymore"

"I honestly can't believe they've been together for 20 years. who? Deez nuts GOTEEEEEE I'm actually 45.... GOTEEEEEE"

"My blonde gf dropped a mug on her feet, spilling her salt over her desk at work... ...Successfully sued claiming to have been mugged and assaulted"

"I can't wait to be 80 & nostalgic over the time I spent staring at my phone screen."

"What do you call a group of girls all named Paige? A chapter."

"Did you hear about the man who got a hatchet stuck in his teeth? It was accidental."

"A woman got complimented for her driving..."

"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."