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Joke of the Day

"Gonna start referring to my Facebook feed as Chick-Fil-A because it's just a bunch of propaganda from cows who can't spell."

"What kind of movies do pirates watch? ARRRR Rated Movies!"

"Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :("

"Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates? They don't want to be ostrich-sized!"

"Star Wars VII: the force awakens Star Wars VIII: the force goes out to play Star Wars IX: goodnight force"

"What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses."

"Why do flower beds have mulch? So you can't see their underplants."

"I know a girl who is completely obsessed with Mexican men. She's a Pedrophile."

"We get it, Japan. All of your cats can skateboard."

"Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society"