168930

Joke of the Day

"Gonna start referring to my Facebook feed as Chick-Fil-A because it's just a bunch of propaganda from cows who can't spell."

"Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean."

"I entered Reddit's pun contest.... .... I submitted ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would get an upvote. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"Bae: come over Me: I can't, I'm hanging out with your parents. Bae: my parents aren't home. Me: I know. I just... You never listen Susan."

"My signature move is illegal in 37 states."

"2 Irish queers Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael."

"My dad told me that getting a blowjob is the only way to get ahead in life."

"""Let's go with a clown, a penguin, and a guy that tells riddles."" - The guy who came up with batman's villains."

"Why did the black man wipe his ass? Niggers and poo are the same thing!!!!!"

"911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us."