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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But why are you walking around giving men fish? That's weird, dude."

"Accidentally walked into a mosque ""This isn't where I'm supposed to *be headed*"""

"Why did the rooster cross the road? To show he wasn't a chicken."

"REP: we are pleased to provide u with the highest level of customer service! ME: oh sorry, got the wrong number. was tryin to call comcast"

"Where do Jewish kids with Attention Deficit Disorder go in the summer? To concentration camp."

"Don't call it a comeback.. .. It's mostly in your hair."

"Woman: When my husband died... ...his dying wish was to be liquidised into perfume. Friend: It's so sad that he's gone. Woman: Well he's still here in essence."

"From Predator 2 ""The doctor says, 'I need a semen, stool and urine sample.' I say, 'Gee, doc, I'm in a big hurry, can I just leave my underwear?' """

"I'm getting a new appreciation for black and white films... I just watched jungle fever and I loved it!!!"

"Mike Tyson is a passionate, sensitive man, who cries after making love. ...because of the mace."