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Joke of the Day

"Me, age 18: I'll be a homeowner by the time I'm in my 30s Me, in my 30s: I own a single pair of matching socks"

"If Ted Kennedy Dan Quayle Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest which one would win? Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word."

"What is black and starts with ""nig""? Nighttime, you racist bastard."

"I asked my daughter's dentist for her favorite joke. Was not disappointed. What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis? Taking shellfies with their shellphones."

"An Irish man walks out of a bar... ..."

"I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice."

"I googled 'missing medieval servant boy' 404 Paige not found"

"Sorry I brought my own turntables and tried to battle your wedding DJ"

"I love the way the Earth rotates... It really makes my day"

"I sometimes feel kinda brave until I see a slightly above average size moth."