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Joke of the Day

"Dropped a Q-tip, but I caught it before it hit the ground. The ninja behind me said, ""Whoa."" Then we high-fived."

"I hope my childhood BFF forgot that silly pact we made at five to kill each other if we hadn't become ponies by 2015. She was really dark."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, they're efficient and they aren't very funny."

"Cracks chemistry joke No reaction"

"Each year more people die in bathtub accidents than plane accidents, but any idiot thinking they can fly a bathtub deserves what they get."

"An American and a German were playing ""Thumb War"" ""One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war."" ""Five, six, seven, eight, I use this hand to masturbate."" ""Einz, zwei, drei, so do I."""

"What did the bird say in gratitude? ""Thank"", then it cooed."

"scully: victim died of multiple stab wounds mulder: *throws her a file* ever heard of the knife alien"

"How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb? 1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was"

"How do you know Putin's doing well this election? He's taking over the Poles."