168596
Joke of the Day
"Snoring comes easily to me. In fact, I can do it in my sleep."
Next Joke
"What is the cheapest meat? Deer testicles. They're under a Buck."
"Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? A: You make my temperature rise."
"*uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day."
"Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits."
"Michelle Obama had an awesome speech tonight... I wonder how long we'll have to wait for Malinia Trump to steal it. The part about her black daughters will be awkward."
"Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don't know where I am."
"Emotions don't scare me. People who manage to hide theirs completely, do."
"What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common? We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed."
"How do you get 1000 dead babies into the bed of a pickup truck? A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!"