16857
Joke of the Day
"What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaiiinnss."
Next Joke
"Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him? It was an emergent sea."
"* Kindergarten* Hi kids! I'm the homeroom mom for your class. [writes name on chalkboard] [Boy Raises hand] We can't read. No one can read"
"My friend asked if working at the 'Depot for the Mentally Disabled' was a shitty job I said it had its UPS and its downs."
"yells ""PARKOUR"" then strokes a dog the wrong way, the camera zooms in on the dogs face, he portrays mild annoyance"
"A real man can feel embarrassed only two times in his life... the first time when he can't manage the second time, and the second time when he can't manage the first time."
"What's the definition of a period? A bloody waste of fucking time."
"cops at DUI checkpoints should just check to see if u texted ur ex at some point throughout the night"
"""Donatello choose ur weapon"" ""I'll take a stick"" ""Really not a sword? Nunchu.."" ""A STICK"" ""Ha I guess u wanna wear purple too?"" ""..."" ""Ugh"""
"Just started listening to Fall Out Boy. They're more than I bargained for."