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Joke of the Day
"I have a nice body. It's in my trunk."
Next Joke
"What do you call it when a pastry kills another pastry? Game of Scones."
"Q: What does a cat sleep on? A: A caterpillow."
"I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should: Go for it, slow down, or just stop."
"*pretends to get an urgent text so I can turn around after I notice I'm walking in the wrong direction*"
"Why was the broom late? because it overswept"
"He's as sharp as a bowling ball."
"Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm"
"Thanks for the heart attack, Chinese menu under the door while I'm watching a scary movie."
"I miss being able to use the excuse ""I wasn't home when you called""."