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Joke of the Day

"[24hr news channel] news just in.. *director repeats himself into headset* news justin *justin just sits there* READ THE NEWS JUSTIN"

"What part of the road is always crying? The breakdown lane."

"Why can't you ever trust a cat? Because they are always lion"

"two deer walk out of a gay bar the first deer says to the other, ""man, I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there""."

"Thinking about implanting a magnet in my chin so I can make a badass beard of iron filings and paper clips. More attractive, yes?"

"Money can't buy you happiness? Well, poverty can't buy you anything."

"A frustrated doctor walks into a bar The bar tender asks, why are you fuming The doctor responds,""I DONT HAVE ENOUGH PATIENCE"""

"Dentist: How often do you floss? Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*"

"What is the most commonly used phrase at a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"What kind of grass do cows like most? It's a moot point!"