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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? It's okay...he woke up."

"(meeting for naming cereal) ""List the ingredients; maybe we'll get inspired."" ""Honey, bunches of oats"" ""I think we're done here."""

"Relationships are a lot like algebra.. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"Knock Knock. Who's there? No, he's on first. **I totally just thought of this, where do I go to collect my money?** *Edit: spelling"

"What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit? At Olive Garden the servers actually work."

"What is expected from ISIS women? Blow jobs."

"The trampoline used to be called a jumpoline until your mum jumped on it"

"Why are linear equations so easy to interrogate? Because they always give you a straight answer."

"I bought my cat a box of wine... The selfish rascal only wanted to play with the box! Also, it turns out I have a serious drinking problem and no cat."

"What kind of bath can you take without water? A sun bath."