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Joke of the Day

"What did the mountain climber name his horse? Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest."

"Went to an astrologer and found out why my wife and I aren't compatible. I'm a Capricorn and she's a fucking BITCH!"

"*runs into long lost friend* Him- I started out on the bottom now I'm a district MGR. what do you do? Me- I disappoint people"

"Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple store? For the watch"

"If your erection lasts longer than four hours, call your doctor. Or masturbate. Either one works"

"What's the difference between humans and bullets? Humans miss Harambe"

"2 hunters walk into a bar... ...That was the worst time to misinterpret the word 'duck'"

"What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome."

"I just did an alignment on my car... But my car still pulls into crowds :("

"I eat pudding with a fork, so no, crossword puzzles aren't really my 'thing'."