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Joke of the Day

"[funeral] Her: why is my dead grandfather wearing a diamond ring? *sliding it off his finger* Me: *gets down on one knee* because babe..."

"Christmas Trees and The Pope Q: What do Christmas trees and The Pope have in common?? A: Their balls are for decoration only"

"When it comes to telling a joke, opportunity Knock Knocks. #jokes"

"My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam. I told her, ""Yeah, it's haram, bae."""

"My friend's been dating Tim Howard She told me he's a keeper."

"Why do people with heart disease always lose at poker? They have to take ACE inhibitors."

"I just completed a one month long diet... And all I lost was 30 days."

"Max wondered why the ball was slowly growing larger... and then it hit him."

"Vin Diesel is Latin for ""the guy we get when The Rock won't do it"""

"My girlfriend had sex with her ex, instead of breaking up with her I did the same thing. For the record he said I'm a much better kisser."