168365

Joke of the Day

"No, I do not have food in my teeth; haven't you ever heard of tooth freckles? Now go away & leave me that toothpick. Jerk."

"I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed."

"I take it personally when I let a car cut in front of me and then they immediately get into another lane. Come back you are with me now."

"What do you call a confusing sharp pain in the ass immediately after a break up? An ex or cist?"

"What do you call a cheap boob job? A discount rack."

"Did you hear about the man who got his entire left side cut off? Don't worry, he's allright now."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? About a hundred bucks an hour."

"I found out I was dyslexic when I got invited to a toga party. I turned up as a goat."

"my cat: *hacking up a hairball* my german neighbor: holy shit that cat is talking"

"[SPOILER] Ending of Civil War. Lincoln gets killed at the end."