168315

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I meet a new baby, I stand still and let it come up to me and smell my hand first before I try to pet it"

"What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by? A crush crush"

"I have AIDS and Alzheimer's Thank goodness I don't have AIDS"

"Can't wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time."

"Floppy disks are like Jesus... .. they died to become the icon of saving."

"What has a bottom on top? A leg."

"Your momma is so stupid... She thought tinder was a cooking show to make chicken."

"90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care."

"You know you where drunk last night when you realise you cooked your pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees"

"Q: Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic? A: There's a 12-month waiting list."