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Joke of the Day

"When my boyfriend gives me a hug during an argument, it looks loving, but I'm just patting him down to make sure he's not wearing a wire."

Next Joke
 
"I've just received my 14th Christmas card from the Alzheimer's Society."
"People who ignore your texts are probably just busy looking at pictures of you. Keep trying. It's not weird"
"Cannibal: Mom mom I've been eating a missionary and I feel sick ! Mom: Well you know what they say - you can't keep a good man down !"
"What do Germans call a flying jew? Smoke."
"*peeks under bathroom stall* How's the wifi signal in there?"
"Why did Adele cross the road? To get to the other side. Sorry."
"""Just the tip,"" I whisper seductively to the pizza delivery guy, hoping he fulfills my fantasy of not charging me for the pizza."
"This is a Tylenol conversation. So you can Aleve."
"What is a pirates favourite material? Yarrrn"