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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket ""Hey son, how far do you think I can kick this thing?"""

"What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see? Coffin"

"What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam."

"Been dry for a while Damn this cast itches."

"[runs up to a group of people] ME: ZACK ATTACK GUY: lol is your name zack or [thousands of bros crest a nearby hill] ME: [whispering] RUN"

"HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please"

"Be careful when you follow the Masses. Sometimes the M' is silent."

"Is cyanide the most efficient way to kill someone? Asking for a fiend."

"Whats the difference between a performance by a female pornstar and an act by an escape artist? One is a cunning stunt, the other has a stunning cunt."

"I thought I might be pregnant. It turns out I'm just three months fat."