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Joke of the Day

"My thai-girlfriend told me it's ok to have a small penis I would still prefer that she had a vagina. EDIT: Grammar thx to /u/Jarabar"

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack*, ""Darn!"" A skydiver goes ""Darn!"" *whack*"

"There is a chair The chair walk, with shoes! La-la-la-la-la! It walk on the street. The chair is walking."

"Who does Christopher Reeve wish he could be? Christopher Walken"

"One of the best moments in my life was hearing my wife day ""till death do us part."" I wish I would've known she was talking about her legs...."

"Any shampoo can be volume control shampoo if you cram the bottle directly into your kids mouth"

"Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?"

"What do gay people call each other on? Homophones."

"A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? Q. They think their picture is being taken."

"I like my women like I like my milk... Rich, white, and 2% fat"