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Joke of the Day
"A condom isn't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."
Next Joke
"phlegm I used to work in a seafood restaurant where my specialty was clam chowder. I got fired when I got over my cold"
"I burnt my mouth on a slice of pizza. But I got my revenge. It's poop now."
"How do you get a hippie chick pregnant? Cum on her shoes and let the flies do the rest"
"Did you guys hear Adele might have cancer? It's not confirmed, but tumor has it"
"Fave bit of the Breaking Bad finale is when Ross is like ""DID SHE GET OFF THE METH?"" and then Rachel shows up and says ""I got off the meth."""
"There's a cat curled up on my pillow, and I'd probably be a lot more cool with that if I actually owned a cat."
"What do you call a woman who can balance 5 pints of lager on each arm? Beatrix"
"Me: Can I leave early? Boss: Why? Me: Death Boss: Who died? Me: No one yet Boss: Me: Boss: Get out"
"My first wife was a great housekeeper. She kept both houses"