178002

Joke of the Day

"Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat."

"What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East? No, YOU the bomb."

"It's hard to stop being depressed Because gravity is always bringing me down."

"What's the difference between Nine-Eleven and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight. Be gentle... it's my cake day :-)"

"My Girlfriend wanted me to give her anal. I said fuck that shit."

"When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make? Guac!"

"Why is the man with the world record largest penis so depressed? He just didn't fit in."

"What kind of cake did Noah enjoy? Mabul cake."

"Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!"

"What knight of the round table never paid with cash when buying something? Sir Charge"