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Joke of the Day

"I was in Ferguson last night and got jumped by 5 black guys! The car started right up, they just said it just needs a new battery. What nice gentlemen i thought to myself."

"Goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls... Except ginger goths. They go naked."

"Basketball players like their chicken like they like their basketballs In the bucket"

"I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet!"

"So Lisa said she wanted to be friends with benefits Where's my dental plan, you slut? (source, college humor)"

"What did a blind french guy said he wanted for christmas? ""All I want for christmas is yeux"""

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac-man. For 25 cents she would swallow balls until she died."

"Your car keys will always be in the same pocket as the hand that's carrying 6 bags of groceries. Always."

"TIL that Hitler never ate cake Apparently all the ovens were already being used."

"GOD: did u eat from the tree of knowledge? ADAM: no...it was my girlfriend GOD: who? ADAM: u don't know her she goes to a different school"