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Joke of the Day

"How do you prevent alcoholism? Shots."

"People tell me soup is better with flavor cubes. But I don't put a lot of stock in that. Because of it, though, I was the victim of a lot of boullion."

"America will suffer if Trump becomes president... You could say we're going toupee for it"

"Want to hear a construction joke? It's not finished yet."

"Top-down is the right way to wash just about anything... ...but apparently not convertibles."

"One time I asked, ""What would Jesus do?"". That's the same day I almost drowned."

"My brother and I were playing chess, and I said to him 'care to make this interesting?' He said 'sure'. So we stopped playing chess."

"What do they call the doctor who released private health information after he got mad at his being given away? A Hipaacrite"

"The gardener asked me what I wanted him to do, I told him to water the plants... He points and asks ""water these?"", I said ""nah man, *pointing* WATER THOSE""."

"Girls are like math problems... If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head."