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Joke of the Day

"She danced her way into his heart. -She was doing the robot tho, so she looked like an idiot."

"Why don't Germans play games with new players? Because they don't want to wreck Danubes."

"What do you call an egg that cures cancer? A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son."

"The world would be a better place if we all stuck together. But it would be harder to go to the bathroom."

"The gal in front of me on this flight didn't enjoy me stroking her forehead after she reclined into my lap. Thought we were having a moment."

"Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question."

"Ha ha! Clinton-Dix"

"It's weird how after they couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together the King's men were like ""Let's give the horses a shot at it"""

"What looks better... than roses your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to ""make elephant! Now teapot!"" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball."