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Joke of the Day

"The gal in front of me on this flight didn't enjoy me stroking her forehead after she reclined into my lap. Thought we were having a moment."

"A Canadian walks into a bar and says, ""Soo-ree."" Haha"

"My little sister made a face at my mom and said ""Guess who I am?"" My mom answered ""Who?"" ""Your daughter"" courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago"

"I told you not to let those pigs In my office. Now look what's happened. They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!"

"Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts."

"What's the difference between an egg and a root? You can beat an egg, but you can't beet a root!"

"I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine... But I need a line to finish it."

"My buddy, David, had his ID stolen while on a business trip in Prague... ...now we just have to call him Dav."

"What do you say when your village gets the Black Death I'm bubon-sick of this plague."

"Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it."