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Joke of the Day

"Kids - there is no Santa. Those gifts were from your parents. Happy New Year from Wikileaks"

"Sometimes I yell at my stepladder, ""You're not my real ladder! You can't tell me what to do!"" And then I kick it. Feels good."

"GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWSTM: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf"

"I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit"

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!"

"The lead singer of Chumbawamba died earlier today. During his autopsy his body got knocked down...and that's when things got interesting."

"I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he half-assed it..."

"How many people does it take to circumcise a whale? Foreskin divers"

"Politically Correct Chiggers Chegreos."

"Arguing with women is like getting arrested, anything you say can and will be used against you."